1
00:00:10,266 --> 00:00:13,133
You were out gettin' good
with your pals
the other night.

2
00:00:13,166 --> 00:00:16,100
It's been so long
since I've had a pair
of tits in my hands,

3
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:19,366
I popped a lap rocket
opening up a can of tuna
last Sunday morning.

4
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,633
Oh, that's off‐putting.

5
00:00:20,666 --> 00:00:22,400
Not to old Gail,
it isn't.

6
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:24,566
I'd love to hear your
big bang theory, Daniel.

7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,566
WAYNE: Ew.
Print it.

8
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,366
This is officially me
callin' down for more mayo.

9
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,666
That's clever.
GAIL: Do you like magic?

10
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,566
Pop that purple
home wrecker over here.

11
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,700
I'll make her disappear.

12
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,200
We should
just be out there

13
00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:41,100
just pole vaultin'
around town, boys.

14
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:43,800
Wouldn't say no
to a bit of toe curlin'
and I don't mean maybe.

15
00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,800
GAIL: It won't be long
before you have the option.

16
00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:48,633
College and university kids
will be home for the summer
next week.

17
00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:50,433
Well, that should
help your spring fever.

18
00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:53,100
Which is a serious condition
if not handled appropriately.

19
00:00:53,133 --> 00:00:55,166
Mini‐skirt and T‐bar season.

20
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,033
Yup. By all means, ladies.
Express yourselves.

21
00:00:58,066 --> 00:01:00,500
Go easy down there,
Squirrely Dan.

22
00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:03,066
I suffered severely
from the spring fever
last year,

23
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:06,166
had to go into
full cougar mode
with an 18‐year‐old.

24
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,166
Oh?
May have been
my second cousin.

25
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,500
Oh.

26
00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:11,166
It was either that
or be at home flickin' it

27
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,000
to Grapefruit League
baseball highlights.

28
00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:15,333
You know they're all
gonna be in here lookin'

29
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:17,566
for a bit of
"How's your father?"

30
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,466
Make sure your game
is tight or you'll
be home firing wristers.

31
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,500
Firing what?

32
00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:23,433
Oh.

33
00:01:23,466 --> 00:01:25,200
What say we make
this interesting.

34
00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:27,333
Whichever one of you
grabs a tail first

35
00:01:27,366 --> 00:01:29,066
gets 50 bucks
off their bar tab.

36
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,333
In.

37
00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:32,066
That is a Texas
sized 10‐4.

38
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:33,400
No, you two
get after it.

39
00:01:34,466 --> 00:01:36,300
Here's a tip.

40
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:39,433
When the gettin's good
around here, stay close
to your pal Wayne.

41
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:42,400
Kid's got more spunk
than a hotel room
hand towel.

42
00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:44,700
Well, here's a tip.
Don't fart in a spacesuit.

43
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:47,200
Here's a tip.
Don't sneeze when
you're taking a piss.

44
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,533
Here's a tip.
It's really hard to get tuna
out of your dick hole.

45
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,700
This place is about to be
crawling with snapper.

46
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:57,366
Let's hope
this is the last night

47
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,633
you'll be going home
to make a bald man puke.

48
00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:01,800
You naturally
prefer companionship,

49
00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:02,933
but I guess there's
a lot worse things

50
00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:05,300
than playing a little one man
couch hockey in the dark.

51
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,200
REILLY: Wearing number 22
for the Tackville Tornados...

52
00:02:17,233 --> 00:02:19,700
(SPITS)
Who fuckin' cares.

53
00:02:19,733 --> 00:02:22,433
Dig deep, bare down,
you fuckin' hero.

54
00:02:22,466 --> 00:02:24,266
You're my fuckin' hero,
two‐two.

55
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,200
Nice flow,
you fuckin' donkey.
Take a lap.

56
00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:29,100
TEAMMATE: Hey,
give your balls a tug,
you tit fucker!

57
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:31,600
What the fuck are you
lookin' at, twos, huh?

58
00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,800
You lookin' at my cock,
you fuckin' sally?

59
00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:36,266
Mix in some class,
you fuckin' cock looker!

60
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:38,266
You're a fuckin'
cock looker, two‐two!

61
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:39,600
Hey, shut the fuck up.

62
00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:40,733
You're a fuckin' hero,
twos.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

63
00:02:43,066 --> 00:02:45,300
Fuckin' suck at hockey,
two‐two!

64
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,333
Loser.

65
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,366
REILLY: Ever wonder why
Katy doesn't come

66
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,566
watch us play anymore, bud?

67
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,133
Makes no fuckin'
sense, buddy.

68
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:57,366
Just fuckin' stud army
born to go silky shelf.

69
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,300
Silky studs.
I mean Italian silk.
Just rippin' ched.

70
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,466
Just chuckin' mitts
and suckin' tits.
(SPITS)

71
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:03,633
Tossin' mitties,
suckin' titties.

72
00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:08,333
Just look at
the snipers up there.

73
00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:10,133
Here to support
the boys.

74
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:12,366
Must be nice Ferda.

75
00:03:13,766 --> 00:03:15,666
Ferda...

76
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,600
It'd be pretty sick
to see Katy
up there again.

77
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:18,433
So sick.

78
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,000
Atta be sures, eh?

79
00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:26,366
First thirsty Thursday
of the season, boys.

80
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,566
How's team morale?

81
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,533
I'm most excited
for Buck Hunter.

82
00:03:29,566 --> 00:03:32,066
Boy, I'm gonna tell ya
that's what I'm gonna do,
holy fuck.

83
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:35,266
You guys know if Gail's
making pickled eggs
or pickled sausages?

84
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,700
Bear in mind there
is no wrong answer
to this question.

85
00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:39,633
I'm gonna be posting up
and looking for love,

86
00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:41,233
and I don't care
who knows it.

87
00:03:41,266 --> 00:03:42,400
Don't set the bar
too high, mutant.

88
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:44,500
That's fair.

89
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:45,666
KATY: You guys going to be
wearing belts?

90
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,100
Hard no.

91
00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:48,800
Why don't you guys
wear belts?

92
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:50,800
'Cause we buy pants
that fucking fit.

93
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:53,366
Why would I buy
a piece of leather
that costs $25,

94
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,700
when I have a perfectly good
skate lace at home?

95
00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:57,200
$25? No.

96
00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:58,566
Fucking $25,

97
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,366
you're lucky to have
a $25 bill.

98
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,033
Fuck, you've been
to Winners lately?

99
00:04:02,066 --> 00:04:04,466
You're talking
about $35, $45.

100
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:07,266
Winners. Slow down there,
Mr. Rocketfeller.

101
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,133
I go down to
the flea market
at St. Jacobs,

102
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,633
$25 could get you
at least five belts.

103
00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:14,300
Plus, a commemorative
belt buckle says,
"Jesus holds up my pants."

104
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:15,700
For Sunday morning.

105
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:16,533
Boy, howdy.

106
00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:22,066
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
REILLY: Ten losses
in a row, bro.

107
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,666
JONESY: Two's a streak, bro.

108
00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:24,800
REILLY: Like where the fuck
Schultzy been out there?

109
00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:26,500
Schultzy's dog shit.

110
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,566
Soupy's a plug.

111
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,733
Smitty's a pile.
Millsy.

112
00:04:29,766 --> 00:04:31,400
Cartsy.
Burnsy.

113
00:04:31,433 --> 00:04:33,533
Deetzy.
Brooksy.

114
00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:35,300
Brooksy's got
a hern‐dog.
Seri‐dog?

115
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:37,233
He's having off‐season surgery
for a sports hern‐dog.

116
00:04:37,266 --> 00:04:39,266
He's out
four to six.

117
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,466
Four to six for.
Best plan.

118
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,266
Where's Coopsy been?
Playing like poopsy.

119
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,466
Playing like
Milan Poocic.
P. K. Pooban.

120
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,600
And Ryan Poo‐gent Hopkins.

121
00:04:47,633 --> 00:04:49,066
Pookka Rask.

122
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,100
The brothers Miko
and Saku Koi‐poo.

123
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:52,766
REILLY: Joke, bro.
JONESY: It's embarrassing.

124
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:58,066
Katy!

125
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,500
How come you don't
watch us play anymore?

126
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,500
'Cause you're dog shit.

127
00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:04,800
We're not dog shit.
I mean, the boys
are dog shit.

128
00:05:04,833 --> 00:05:07,033
But we're pretty good.

129
00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:09,166
Is that why they always play
and you guys never do?

130
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,500
She might be onto
something there, bro.

131
00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:16,566
Not seeing a whole lot of
special teams time, buddy.

132
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,500
I haven't killed
a penalty all year.

133
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,333
I mean, we wanna score goals,
but we'd just end up
killing them boys.

134
00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:22,033
Mmm‐hmm.

135
00:05:22,066 --> 00:05:24,266
Would you come watch
if we play a regular shift?

136
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,500
Duh. The fuck else
am I going to do
around here?

137
00:05:28,766 --> 00:05:30,466
Time to set up
a meeting with the Coach.

138
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,433
Buh‐doo!

139
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,000
(BOTH SPITTING)

140
00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:37,166
We're the biggest
Pantene pros
in the league.

141
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,666
Mix in some big minutes
for a couple stick
and pucksters.

142
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,133
You guys don't give a shit
about winning.

143
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,433
You just like the hockey
player lifestyle.
You are posers.

144
00:05:45,466 --> 00:05:46,800
So what are we
gonna do?

145
00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:47,800
COACH: You need
to get in shape!

146
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,400
Study the tape!

147
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,433
Play with
some intensity!

148
00:05:51,466 --> 00:05:53,733
Hold my spitter.

149
00:05:53,766 --> 00:05:56,166
So basically what
you are saying is...

150
00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:59,566
We're at this level.

151
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,100
But we've got to get
to this level.

152
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,166
(CLAPS HANDS) Done!

153
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,200
You're a fucking beauty.

154
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:09,633
Registered beautician.

155
00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,800
What do you guys
think of the program?

156
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,300
Well...
Uh...

157
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,700
Just kidding,
I don't give a fuck.

158
00:06:20,566 --> 00:06:21,766
Gutty.
Yeah, a little gutty.

159
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,166
That's a little gutty.
Fuck.

160
00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,710
(BOTH SPIT)

161
00:06:29,628 --> 00:06:30,828
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

162
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,828
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

163
00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:43,665
DAN: That's when you
cut off her balls.

164
00:06:43,698 --> 00:06:45,565
Cut off her balls?
Correct.

165
00:06:45,598 --> 00:06:46,765
DARYL: I think you mean,
"Cut off his balls."

166
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,032
DAN: Incorrect.

167
00:06:49,065 --> 00:06:51,732
Oh, no?
Oh, yes.

168
00:06:51,765 --> 00:06:54,265
That is why you never give
a sword to a hooker.

169
00:06:58,032 --> 00:07:00,598
Hey, Wayne.
How many planets
are there?

170
00:07:00,632 --> 00:07:02,265
WAYNE: Well, with the whole
Pluto debate.

171
00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:03,865
Give or take,
eight planets.

172
00:07:03,898 --> 00:07:05,798
There'll only be seven
after I destroy Uranus.

173
00:07:07,732 --> 00:07:09,265
Buy you a drink?
Okay.

174
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,498
Who's that?

175
00:07:13,865 --> 00:07:16,265
WAYNE: Who?
Kyle Schneidstiller's sister?

176
00:07:16,298 --> 00:07:17,432
DARYL: Is that
who she is?

177
00:07:17,465 --> 00:07:19,298
That's Kyle Schneidstiller's
little sister.

178
00:07:19,332 --> 00:07:20,932
You know,
he's a decent dude.

179
00:07:20,965 --> 00:07:22,665
She's finer
than frog hair.

180
00:07:22,698 --> 00:07:24,598
Have an eye
for the fertility, boys.

181
00:07:24,632 --> 00:07:25,865
She's been
knocked‐up twice.

182
00:07:25,898 --> 00:07:26,898
She's a one‐shot Sally.

183
00:07:27,765 --> 00:07:29,865
WAYNE: Also...

184
00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:32,732
She dated Boots
for a little while
before he went to jail.

185
00:07:35,398 --> 00:07:37,632
You guys ever hear
anything about that guy
fucking an ostrich?

186
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,665
No...

187
00:07:39,698 --> 00:07:41,532
The Ginger fucked
an ostrich.

188
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:43,332
Allegedly.

189
00:07:43,365 --> 00:07:45,732
It would take more
than one guy
to fuck an ostrich.

190
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,598
We've heard

191
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:49,998
that it was
a sick ostrich.

192
00:07:50,032 --> 00:07:52,765
Well, it would take
two guys to fuck an ostrich.
Three even.

193
00:07:52,798 --> 00:07:53,798
Again,

194
00:07:55,532 --> 00:07:56,965
we're hearing it was
a sick ostrich.

195
00:07:58,665 --> 00:08:00,265
Still, it's a three‐man job
to fuck one.

196
00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:03,398
But wait...

197
00:08:03,432 --> 00:08:06,265
Was that before
or after he dated
Kyle Schneidstiller's sister?

198
00:08:06,298 --> 00:08:07,732
Oh, it's almost
not worth thinkin' about.

199
00:08:09,665 --> 00:08:11,032
WAYNE: Oh, we have an eye.

200
00:08:11,065 --> 00:08:12,265
She's sweet
on you, Dary.

201
00:08:12,965 --> 00:08:14,398
Is that what she is?

202
00:08:14,432 --> 00:08:15,765
That's your next sweetie
right there.

203
00:08:15,798 --> 00:08:16,998
Go talk to her.

204
00:08:17,032 --> 00:08:18,232
What's your
logic there?

205
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:20,998
You see what she's doing
with her hair?

206
00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:22,665
That's called
a hair show.

207
00:08:22,698 --> 00:08:24,298
When a gal's sweet
on a guy,

208
00:08:24,332 --> 00:08:25,598
and she wants to
get his attention,

209
00:08:25,632 --> 00:08:27,532
she just starts fucking
with her hair whole bunch.

210
00:08:27,565 --> 00:08:28,698
What for?

211
00:08:28,732 --> 00:08:30,665
So you notice more
about the way they look.

212
00:08:30,698 --> 00:08:33,498
Like how her face is framed
with her hair up or down.

213
00:08:33,532 --> 00:08:34,765
And also make you
think like...

214
00:08:37,298 --> 00:08:38,465
Well, I wouldn't
wanna touch it.

215
00:08:40,532 --> 00:08:41,798
Well, yeah, I think
I would like to touch it.

216
00:08:41,832 --> 00:08:42,632
Well, get after it.

217
00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:45,232
But don't lead
with the touchin', though.

218
00:08:45,965 --> 00:08:46,965
All right. I will.

219
00:08:48,465 --> 00:08:50,265
Just, not just yet.
Maybe after a couple.

220
00:08:50,498 --> 00:08:52,398
There.

221
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,732
JONESY: Okay, bro,
workout program.
(WATER RUNNING)

222
00:08:53,765 --> 00:08:55,365
Go.
Gotta start with burpees,
buddy.

223
00:08:55,398 --> 00:08:56,965
Just ripping burpee
boxshums, buddy.

224
00:08:56,998 --> 00:08:58,532
50 burpees,
50 pushups.

225
00:08:58,565 --> 00:08:59,998
50 burpees,
50 pushups...

226
00:09:00,032 --> 00:09:01,432
Stairs.
Protein break.

227
00:09:01,465 --> 00:09:02,765
Just ripping
skull crashers.

228
00:09:02,798 --> 00:09:03,898
Just rippin' forced reps.

229
00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:05,532
Forced rep super sets.

230
00:09:05,565 --> 00:09:08,332
Bird up.
Just rippin'
anti‐gravity press.

231
00:09:08,365 --> 00:09:09,898
Just rippin'
Advanced Kettlebell Windmill.

232
00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:11,432
Just rippin' barbell
half‐squats.

233
00:09:11,465 --> 00:09:12,665
Just rippin' drop sets.

234
00:09:12,698 --> 00:09:14,298
Just rippin' Swiss ball
jackknifes.

235
00:09:14,332 --> 00:09:16,498
Just rippin'
silly animal stack.

236
00:09:16,532 --> 00:09:19,565
Just rippin' bent over
rear delt raise
with head on bench.

237
00:09:19,598 --> 00:09:21,465
Fuckin' delts to die for,
buddy.

238
00:09:21,498 --> 00:09:23,632
Just rippin' cable rope
overhead tricep extensions.

239
00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:24,665


240
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,932


241
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:26,965
Legs?

242
00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,032
Hate doing legs.

243
00:09:29,065 --> 00:09:31,465
Let's skip leg day.

244
00:09:31,498 --> 00:09:33,898
TEAMMATE: That's the best
ass‐wash of your life
right there, boys.

245
00:09:33,932 --> 00:09:35,265
Good work,
Shoresy.

246
00:09:35,298 --> 00:09:36,765
Look at the hustle on,
Shoresy.

247
00:09:36,798 --> 00:09:38,465
Best ass‐wash
of your life.

248
00:09:38,498 --> 00:09:40,032
(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)

249
00:09:40,065 --> 00:09:40,898
Ooh.

250
00:09:44,532 --> 00:09:46,365
Scored a perfect score
in the bonus round.

251
00:09:46,398 --> 00:09:47,432
Don't think I've ever
seen that before.

252
00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:49,532
Remember what happened
here today.

253
00:09:49,565 --> 00:09:50,865
You can't forget
something like that.

254
00:09:50,898 --> 00:09:52,965
Seen Angie in here
with her new boyfriend
again a couple nights ago.

255
00:09:52,998 --> 00:09:55,798
Oh, who gives a care.

256
00:09:55,832 --> 00:09:57,632
Remember I told you
he was in a '94 Jeep YJ with
a wave decal on the side?

257
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,498
He made an upgrade.
Short trip.

258
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:02,465
Pulled in here with a 2003
aquamarine Audi wagon

259
00:10:02,498 --> 00:10:04,598
with a magenta "Fear this"
sticker on the back.

260
00:10:04,632 --> 00:10:06,732
Ain't no reason
to get excited.

261
00:10:06,765 --> 00:10:09,632
Came in here wearing
a pair of Fandango
pink pastel khakis

262
00:10:09,665 --> 00:10:11,865
with a white, gold
leather chain
fuckin' wallet,

263
00:10:11,898 --> 00:10:13,032
and a Creed T‐shirt on.

264
00:10:13,065 --> 00:10:15,432
Remarkable.
I know.

265
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:18,398
He had a deep carrot
orange fedora with
a burnt orange stripe

266
00:10:18,432 --> 00:10:20,598
and a little cauliflower
blue feather

267
00:10:20,632 --> 00:10:21,732
with a fucking,
I don't know,

268
00:10:21,765 --> 00:10:23,432
looked like to me
some kind of

269
00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:24,998
a black‐bearded titmouse
or some kind of shit.

270
00:10:25,032 --> 00:10:27,698
Did you know
there's a type of bird
called a Bushtit?

271
00:10:27,732 --> 00:10:29,365
I did not.
It's a type
of chickadee.

272
00:10:29,398 --> 00:10:30,765
He also had
an imperial purple...

273
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,332
That'll do, McMurray.

274
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,965
Oh, I'm just sayin'
it must suck balls

275
00:10:33,998 --> 00:10:35,498
to lose to a fucking
douchebag like that.

276
00:10:37,465 --> 00:10:38,765
Hi.

277
00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:41,265
Heard you doin' all right
at Buck Hunter.

278
00:10:41,298 --> 00:10:42,332
What say I give you
a quick squeezer in
the parking lot there, eh?

279
00:10:44,032 --> 00:10:45,232
Could be worse.

280
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:46,732
Could indeed.

281
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,465
There a vet around
here, ladies?

282
00:10:49,498 --> 00:10:50,465
These puppies are sick.

283
00:10:55,465 --> 00:10:59,265
Christ, I would
snort her dandruff.

284
00:10:59,298 --> 00:11:02,932
DARYL: Dandruff is a fungus.
I think you mean you'd
sniff her flakes.

285
00:11:02,965 --> 00:11:04,998
Then you are giving me
far too much credit, my boy.

286
00:11:09,498 --> 00:11:10,965
(LOUDLY) Oh, oh.

287
00:11:10,998 --> 00:11:14,032
Lookin' some comely
tonight there, big fella.

288
00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,965
Do you wanna know
what, Gail?

289
00:11:15,998 --> 00:11:18,532
I think you've got a case
of the spring fever.

290
00:11:18,565 --> 00:11:19,698
Can I get you a drink?

291
00:11:19,732 --> 00:11:20,532
Okay.

292
00:11:21,798 --> 00:11:23,432
You see that one?

293
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,465
She's like a Middle Eastern
rebel army.

294
00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:27,598
'Cause there's a political
uprising in my pants.

295
00:11:27,632 --> 00:11:29,532
Well, shoulders back.
Here she comes.

296
00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:31,765
Excuse me, boys.

297
00:11:36,665 --> 00:11:38,298
She's sweet on you.
Get after it.

298
00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:39,465
You think so?

299
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:40,632
You see what she
just did?

300
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:42,465
Touched your back
and then, moved on?

301
00:11:42,498 --> 00:11:44,632
That's called the
unnecessary squeeze‐by.

302
00:11:44,665 --> 00:11:45,965
Is that what
it's called?
Mmm‐hmm.

303
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:49,265
You noticed she had about
half a fuckin' soccer field
to get past

304
00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:51,498
but instead leaned in close,
got a bit handsy

305
00:11:51,532 --> 00:11:52,898
like there was only
a tiny lane to get by?

306
00:11:54,032 --> 00:11:55,865
The unnecessary
squeeze‐by.

307
00:11:55,898 --> 00:11:57,965
Go talk to her.

308
00:11:57,998 --> 00:12:00,265
Let's fire back
a couple of shots first.

309
00:12:00,298 --> 00:12:03,332
Well, this is
swiftly becoming
a counterproductive practice,

310
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:04,732
but okay.

311
00:12:09,532 --> 00:12:12,032
Look at Coopsy
out there.
Just dog shit.

312
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,765
You mean
Claude Gir‐poo?

313
00:12:13,798 --> 00:12:15,598
Roberto Poo‐ongo.

314
00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:16,965
I mean, look at you.
You're fuckin' Kenny

315
00:12:16,998 --> 00:12:18,465
coast‐to‐coast
out there, buddy.

316
00:12:18,498 --> 00:12:20,032
You're Harry High‐Sock buddy.
Cory clap bombs.

317
00:12:20,065 --> 00:12:21,665
Thank you.

318
00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:22,732
Sniper.

319
00:12:22,765 --> 00:12:24,432
Snipe!

320
00:12:24,465 --> 00:12:25,565
Didn't your coach
tell you to get in shape?

321
00:12:26,932 --> 00:12:28,732
It's our cheat day.

322
00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:30,032
We'll be rippin'
silly plyometrics
right after this

323
00:12:30,065 --> 00:12:32,032
so they cancel
each other out.

324
00:12:32,065 --> 00:12:33,698
Then it's arms.
Just rippin'
concentration curls.

325
00:12:33,732 --> 00:12:35,532
Just rippin' cross body
hammer curls.

326
00:12:35,565 --> 00:12:37,532
Just rippin' alternate
dumbbell bicep curls.

327
00:12:37,565 --> 00:12:39,765
Just rippin' lying close grip
bar curl on high pulley.

328
00:12:39,798 --> 00:12:42,398
Just rippin'
alternate one‐arm
dumbbell preacher curls.

329
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,498
Just rippin' standing
one‐arm bicep curl
over incline bench.

330
00:12:46,798 --> 00:12:49,332
You're an idiot.

331
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:49,965
We're smoke‐bombing over
to throw some weights
around now.

332
00:12:51,298 --> 00:12:51,965
You wanna come?

333
00:12:53,298 --> 00:12:53,898
Okay.

334
00:12:55,598 --> 00:12:56,632
Ninja dust.

335
00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:03,432
Resistance training!

336
00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:04,365
Muscle atrophy!

337
00:13:08,332 --> 00:13:10,432
Take some snaps
of us, snipe.

338
00:13:10,465 --> 00:13:13,765
Yeah, take some snaps
for our Facebooks, snipey!

339
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:16,465
Take your shirts off.

340
00:13:17,565 --> 00:13:18,632
Tarps off, boys.

341
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,465
Sheddin' tarp, boys.

342
00:13:21,398 --> 00:13:22,798
(BOTH PANTING)

343
00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,332
Take a knee, boys.

344
00:13:24,365 --> 00:13:24,965
Grab a knee boys.

345
00:13:26,698 --> 00:13:29,998
(EXHALES)

346
00:13:30,032 --> 00:13:32,798
Those beta‐blockers
really helped you up your
explosive potential, bro.

347
00:13:32,832 --> 00:13:35,298
Muscular endurance,
muscular strength, bro.

348
00:13:35,332 --> 00:13:37,765
Really working those
fast‐twitch
muscle fibers, buddy.

349
00:13:37,798 --> 00:13:40,965
Isokinetic exercise
to really test your
lactic threshold, buddy.

350
00:13:40,998 --> 00:13:43,598
You're never gonna plateau
with that overload
principle, buddy.

351
00:13:43,632 --> 00:13:45,465
Rate of
perceived exertion.

352
00:13:45,498 --> 00:13:47,932
You really hit
your target heart rate
with vigorous intensity.

353
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,598
JONESY: Thanks, buddy.

354
00:13:49,632 --> 00:13:51,698
REILLY: (EXHALES) So?

355
00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:54,332
We got in shape
and studied the tape.

356
00:13:54,365 --> 00:13:55,932
You gonna come watch us
play with intensity tomorrow?

357
00:13:59,032 --> 00:14:01,265
Yeah, I could do that.

358
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,832
Wheel, snipe,
celly, boys!

359
00:14:02,865 --> 00:14:03,998
Fuckin' dangles, boys!

360
00:14:04,932 --> 00:14:05,932
Ninja dust.

361
00:14:14,832 --> 00:14:15,865
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

362
00:14:24,832 --> 00:14:25,898
Hi.

363
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,298
Hmm? How are you now?

364
00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:31,532
Good and you?
Not so bad.

365
00:14:31,565 --> 00:14:33,332
Um... Do you know
where the washroom is?

366
00:14:33,865 --> 00:14:35,465
Sure,

367
00:14:35,498 --> 00:14:36,765
just right
back there.

368
00:14:36,798 --> 00:14:38,365
Okay. Thank you.

369
00:14:38,398 --> 00:14:39,298
You're welcome.

370
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:43,898
And I'm Jessica.

371
00:14:46,732 --> 00:14:47,732
Wayne.

372
00:14:48,665 --> 00:14:49,465
I know.

373
00:15:01,332 --> 00:15:01,932
Now tell me
you saw that.

374
00:15:02,765 --> 00:15:03,865
GAIL: What?

375
00:15:03,898 --> 00:15:05,632
She's givin' me
the big eyes.

376
00:15:05,665 --> 00:15:06,465
Is that what she was doing?

377
00:15:07,332 --> 00:15:08,632
Big eyes?

378
00:15:08,665 --> 00:15:11,365
You know, when a gal's
sweet on a dude
and she's shorter than him?

379
00:15:11,398 --> 00:15:12,965
Instead of tilting
her neck up
to look at him,

380
00:15:12,998 --> 00:15:15,665
she'll just keep her head
straight and look up
with her eyes.

381
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:16,965
Like puppy dog eyes.

382
00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:18,665
It's like...

383
00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:19,832
"Do you know where
the washroom is?"

384
00:15:20,565 --> 00:15:22,665
Versus...

385
00:15:22,698 --> 00:15:23,598
"Do you know where
the washroom is?"

386
00:15:24,398 --> 00:15:26,498
Okay. Yeah.

387
00:15:27,398 --> 00:15:28,598
Big eyes.

388
00:15:42,865 --> 00:15:44,432
Wayne, she's still
giving you the big eyes.

389
00:15:59,065 --> 00:16:01,298
Well, don't have
to tell me twice.

390
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,432
It's about time
one of you showed
some finish.

391
00:16:08,465 --> 00:16:11,732
She's so hot I'd jerk off
her dad just to see
where she came from.

392
00:16:11,765 --> 00:16:12,765
Who? Jivin' Pete?

393
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,765
No.

394
00:16:14,798 --> 00:16:16,598
That's her dad.
Jivin' Pete.

395
00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:17,565
Jivin' Pete.

396
00:16:17,598 --> 00:16:18,832
Yeah.

397
00:16:18,865 --> 00:16:20,465
Got his nuts are
all bunned up

398
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:22,398
after a donkey
kicked him.

399
00:16:22,432 --> 00:16:24,398
Ruptured the hydrocele.

400
00:16:24,432 --> 00:16:27,398
One of them swole up
to look like
a ripe avocado.

401
00:16:27,432 --> 00:16:29,398
Other one looks like
a peach pit.

402
00:16:29,432 --> 00:16:30,732
I'll get him
to show it to you.

403
00:16:30,765 --> 00:16:33,265
He'll show to just about
anybody when he's drunk.

404
00:16:33,298 --> 00:16:35,632
Either way, whole unit's
more cauliflowered than
a UFC fighter's ear.

405
00:17:06,498 --> 00:17:07,798
(PLAYERS SHOUTING)

406
00:17:10,998 --> 00:17:12,932
Nice, nice penalty kill,
boys.

407
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,532
I love the hustle!

408
00:17:14,565 --> 00:17:16,798
Love the hustle!
Look at that hustle, eh?

409
00:17:16,832 --> 00:17:17,965
Well,
piece of shit...

410
00:17:17,998 --> 00:17:19,798
Who brought the
fuckin' rocket, boys?

411
00:17:19,832 --> 00:17:21,398
TEAMMATE 1:
Holy fuck, boys.

412
00:17:21,432 --> 00:17:22,798
Who's billet sister's
a fuckin' rocket?

413
00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:24,398
TEAMMATE 2:
She's a fuckin' rocket.

414
00:17:24,432 --> 00:17:26,398
I got a fucking rocket
in my pants, right now.

415
00:17:26,432 --> 00:17:27,865
TEAMMATE 2:
Hey, dibs on digis, boys.

416
00:17:27,898 --> 00:17:30,251
TEAMMATE 1:
Already dibs'd digits, buddy.

417
00:17:30,284 --> 00:17:31,717
No, I dibs'd
her in warm up,

418
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:32,884
you were throwin' sauce
at the blue line.

419
00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:34,051
I was dibsing digis.

420
00:17:34,084 --> 00:17:36,117
Who the fuck
you dibs 'em to?

421
00:17:36,151 --> 00:17:37,851
TEAMMATE 2: A dibs is a dibs
is a dibs, buddy.
Who gives a shit.

422
00:17:37,884 --> 00:17:39,584
If a dibs falls
in the forest

423
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:41,051
and there's no one
around to hear it,
is it still a dibs?

424
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:42,184
Well, fuck, yeah, buddy!

425
00:17:42,217 --> 00:17:43,551
Fuck, no, buddy!

426
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,051
Give your balls a tug,
you tit fucker!

427
00:17:45,084 --> 00:17:46,784
Wake up,
you fuckin' pheasants!

428
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:47,984
BOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

429
00:17:51,517 --> 00:17:52,617
(THUDDING)

430
00:17:56,884 --> 00:17:58,717
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

431
00:18:02,251 --> 00:18:04,584
Wake up, you mutants.

432
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:05,851
You're missing out
on all the girls

433
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,717
who do not want to
have sex with you.

434
00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:10,817
Awfully pedestrian effort
from our boys tonight, Katy.

435
00:18:10,851 --> 00:18:13,817
No discount on bar tabs
tonight, Chester and Charlie!

436
00:18:15,184 --> 00:18:16,684
What was
your problem, big shoots?

437
00:18:16,717 --> 00:18:19,184
He did all right.
Didn't you, Wayne?

438
00:18:19,217 --> 00:18:20,717
He spent some time
in the bathroom

439
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:21,884
with a little
blonde spinner

440
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,084
who had such
a butt on her.

441
00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:25,584
I took one look at it
and I thought,
"Jesus Christ, woman,

442
00:18:25,617 --> 00:18:26,751
"you shit with
that ass?"

443
00:18:27,951 --> 00:18:28,951
Attaboy!

444
00:18:30,851 --> 00:18:31,851
Boys!

445
00:18:33,617 --> 00:18:35,517
Sniper.
Snipe!

446
00:18:35,551 --> 00:18:37,851
KATY: Gotta say, I had
a fucking hoot at the game.

447
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,584
Two fights.

448
00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:41,151
Hockey players have
the nicest asses.

449
00:18:43,751 --> 00:18:45,517
Okay, we don't want you
coming anymore.

450
00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:47,051
Too distracting
for the boys.

451
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,117
Ferda.
Ferda.

452
00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:49,151
What?
Uh...

453
00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:53,017
It's too distracting.

454
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,251
For the boys.

455
00:18:55,284 --> 00:18:56,617
KATY: Yeah, no,
I heard you.

456
00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:00,517
I heard you say
that I'm a distraction.

457
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:02,484
Okay.

458
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:03,984
Well, guess I'll have to
find one of your teammates

459
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,184
to dibs my digits.

460
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,617
BOTH: But we dibs'd
those digis!

461
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:18,917
You did a decent job
with these d‐gens tonight.

462
00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:19,951
Thank you, Gail.

463
00:19:20,651 --> 00:19:21,851
I said decent.

464
00:19:21,884 --> 00:19:24,117
You forgot the
most important thing.

465
00:19:24,151 --> 00:19:27,484
Don't get so drunk you
couldn't use it even
if you had the option.

466
00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:29,851
Mmm‐hmm.

467
00:19:29,884 --> 00:19:32,217
I'll tell you what
and I'll only tell you once.

468
00:19:32,251 --> 00:19:34,051
You've got the pick
of the litter around here

469
00:19:34,084 --> 00:19:35,584
so you may as well
get pickin'.

470
00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:42,184
I've got this fifty bucks
and no one to claim it.

471
00:19:42,217 --> 00:19:43,451
What say we put it
in your jeans

472
00:19:43,484 --> 00:19:46,584
and see what else is
hangin' around in there
while we're at it?

473
00:19:46,617 --> 00:19:48,151
No.

474
00:19:48,184 --> 00:19:51,251
Like what's in your jeans,
big fella?
Nothin'...

475
00:19:51,284 --> 00:19:54,017
I mean it. Cripes,
I may not go down
in history,

476
00:19:54,051 --> 00:19:55,751
but I'll go down on you.

477
00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:59,551
Okay.
(CHUCKLING)
You want to do 68?

478
00:19:59,584 --> 00:20:01,684
I'll help you clean up.
You'll go down on me?

479
00:20:01,717 --> 00:20:03,517
And I'll owe you one.

480
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:05,584
Where's that rag?
There it is.

481
00:20:05,617 --> 00:20:08,217
Wake up, big shoots
and really big shoots.

482
00:20:08,251 --> 00:20:09,851
More hands
make less work.

483
00:20:09,884 --> 00:20:11,184
Call me cake!

484
00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:13,217
'Cause I go straight
to your ass, cowboy.

485
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:18,784
There's cake?

486
00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:21,051
No.

487
00:20:22,651 --> 00:20:25,117
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

488
00:20:27,884 --> 00:20:30,017
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)